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Crxrxd​/​All My Life

from Fulminate by Nobi

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lyrics

Life of American alcoholics
Searchin' for the bill that has fallen out of his wallet
Steal a Steel Reserve, submerge it within his pocket
Kill it on the curb and submerge up within his conscious

He, made it up the stairs, grabs the keys and he's fumblin'
The forty-sippin', finally hit him, now the man is stumblin'
Mumblin' and bumblin' he shuffles into loving sheets
And falls asleep
Drunken dreams, his sheets to keep him company

Pass out, vomit
Wake up, vomit
Shower
Then he go to work

Clock a twelve
And then he delve
Right back to Hell
Away from Earth

Swervin' his suburban
Off some, bourbon he had purchased
Person with no purpose
Figured life, ain't ever perfect
Measures life, if it's worth it
Whether he should pull the curtain
He been stompin' on the ice and he just finally broke the surface, woah

An old soul at crossroad, he's conflicted
And all his afflictions synonymous with addiction

Yeah, and he standin' at a crossroad
Another life, another lost soul
And he too proud to ask for help
He in a, battle with himself
He figured everybody'd lost hope
Tired of the strife
And how he fightin' all the time
And how these vices rule his life but

He tryin'
But ain't nobody listenin'
And ain't no way to fight it
He been silenced by addiction

Runnin' stop signs like there's no tomorrow
Stars align inside a forty bottle
Need a shot to feel functional
Hit the bar to feel comfortable

Like his mind is stuck in drive
That mean there's no reversin'
Reverse the mind
See through his eyes
And he's a different person, and personally
Burnin' all his bridges in the worst way
Waitin' on a bottle
Bottoms up, he always thirsty

See the pain it'll finish you
Pour a cup, drank, in a swimmin' pool

It don't matter what he drinkin'
Any liquor, anything that'll get him through

See his, problems is minuscule
But his problems is all he do
He only keep it a hundred when he drinkin' a hundred proof

Provin' the point
As we point out his flaws
He point out the fact
That he could be on points of the raw
So what's the point of it all
Canceled appointments, withdraws
Hit a fifth after he walked out
The point is across

Yeah, and he standin' at a crossroad
Another life, another lost soul
And he too proud to ask for help
He in a, battle with himself
He figured everybody lost hope
Tired of the strife
And how he fightin' all the time
And how these vices rule his life but

He tryin'
But ain't nobody listenin'
And ain't no way to fight it
He been silenced by addiction

See I'm tryin', but ain't nobody listenin'
I've been
Callin' for awhile, but can't nobody hear me
And honestly, I've been on autopilot for some miles
I've been lookin' my whole life for a reason not to drown
You think I don't want your advice
Like I wanna have these vices
Pops was an alcoholic, I'ma be just like him
See I, got some demons
And they, ain't gon' let up
And I
Know how to make it worse more than I can make it better, hey

Been looking for all my life
Been looking for all my life, oh

Been looking for all my life
Been looking for all my life, oh

I was
Raised in a place where the pain never fade
And my day's all grey, I ain't never had grace
I ain't never been saved, woah
Wonder why I don't have faith

My father hit the bottle and yo, it don't take a genius
To follow, I'm the product of an alcoholic's genes, yeah

Whatchu know about love, whatchu know about growing up no hugs
You don't know about Pops, wakin' up hittin' shots, throwin' up till there's blood on the rug

I tried to run from all my problems, ended on the same road
Tried to choose a different path, but yo this route is all I know, woah

Been looking for all my life
My whole life I been searchin' for a purpose
If it's worth it, but I don't know if it's workin'

Been looking for all my life, oh
Know I gotta problem, and I
Really wanna solve it
I know it starts with the bottle, woah

Been looking for all my life
I know I got a higher callin'
I'm so tired, always fallin'
I'm accustomed to the bottom, hey

Been looking for all my life, oh
I feel my time about to wind down
So I'ma change my life and go to try to put this

All my life
Been looking for all my life, oh

Been looking for all my life
Been looking for all my life, oh

Been looking for all my life
Been looking for all my life, oh

Been looking for all my life
I Been looking for all my life, oh

credits

from Fulminate, released June 19, 2020

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